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Alla inlägg den 9 juni 2015

Av Gandalf ♥ - 9 juni 2015 21:03

 

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Yes, I light the last cigarette and throws the package. I am tired of life, I'm tired of this game. My head exploded and I cry while my soul is hung. I went halfway, but I do not dare anymore.
I feel worse and I do not feel good. Mit psyche fuckas up of all the empty fucking answer. I sit in the studio alone with beats, ettuppslitet heart, just want away from the crap. Find something that makes me calm and stable, find something in my dream world that suits my style. Something that is completely tight with my profile. I have a wonderful guy friend, but where do I find the one that calms my mind, which can soothe the psychic doing so amazingly evil. Something is missing and MIT heart feels half empty. I sit and think, what have I done, what have I done? ... And you're right, my brother.
Oh, hell.
I do not want more. But all the evil has been well-nets in the end, it feels like God put my pain as cast. I just find my writing pad I wrote when I was nine, my parents, I spit. I can not understand everything that was, ten years, and it must be great. The tears I shed now can build a river. I feel sick lousy, it's not what I want, I do not remember this one more time. All the anxiety and pain, it explodes and heats. I'm not like you, I'm not like them most of the Crimea. Abuse, I upplvet the most part. Ex number of years, I got to know of something that not many get. Between them go, I fall, you stand. I vomit, you smile, hell, I can not take more.

 

 

 

 

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Av Gandalf ♥ - 9 juni 2015 16:51

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Have you some time felt that nothing feels right?
Everything is just crap, every motherfucker stares.
Have you asked for help but nobody wants to help?
Do you hate life, you are tired of waiting?

I can not think clearly, my mind is killing me.
Damn, I shout for help, but nobody wants to hear me.
For all just laughing and pointing and talking,
People trample me down like a fucking doormat.
I pray to my God for their own heaven
for once I have life on the ground in Pin Creek.
For all of my ghosts, they visit my soul
and destroy my days. Damn I wish you were here!
I'm stuck here on earth,
defeated by higher powers.
To leave this world, flying high above the land.
But my wings burst, my mind became fuckat.
No one wants to understand,
there is no one who takes,
how it feels to live alone with feeling,
everyone hates me, I've never been loved.
The wind may turn, but pass on the wait!
Today it happen, I'm tired of fighting.

For all press me down, I ask myself the question.
There is nothing left, you have extinguished the flame
I shed my tears, and this is the end.
Close my eyes and welcome the light.


Ask a question, what do you have against me?
I swear I'm telling the truth, but you refuse to believe me.
See how I cry,
you see how I suffer?
Tearful eyes and a heart that hurts.
Back to square one, everything feels like before,
Now I stand here and beat the life-sized door.
I sit and dream, dream of hope.
I dream that I jump and it's all over,
A fight between me, me and me and life.
Immediately when I feel bad, I get new medicines.
I love you, I hate you, I miss you, I forget you.
I love to hate you and I miss forget you.
I do not know why, I do not now.
I had a life-glow but it burns out.
Do you want to talk to me, you talk to my chest.
Do you gusts am I whispering.

For I see no hope now,
it disappeared long ago.
Ey! The pain is my father, and death my best friend.
I have fought, lost, climbed and fallen,
from top to bottom,
I am a man without a future.
For beware because you have created me;
And my reflection is crushed and my shadow hate me.

And how will I cope? Should the crap going on?
I'm tired of metaphors as "life goes on .."!

 

 

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Av Gandalf ♥ - 9 juni 2015 09:28

Hellu again. Now for a little shocking thing .. Okay, everyone may not like it, many will perhaps find it inconvenient, ugly or anything like that. Now they come here safely allow very sad, though, and then it may be boring. I have very long hair, it is a meter and thirteen centimeters long, and no it is not a hairpiece or something like that. But since yesterday, I have been asking myself Question: Should I cut it, or should I let it grow. It's a tough decision because I have saved the thirteen years. It is quite a long time and then I think 'what if it never grows and becomes so long again?' 'But somehow there's something inside me that says' if you cut it short, you will not have to make a hairstyle every day, trying to wipe the in approx 4 hours .. '' but I do not know. and I hate not knowing, they give me a decision anxiety. ;-;

 

Hellu igen. Nu till en lite chockande grej.. Okej, alla kanske inte tycker det, många kanske kommer tycka det är jobbigt, fult eller nåt sånt. Nu kommer de här säkert låta jätte tråkigt, men och då får det vara tråkigt. Jag har väldigt långt hår, det är en meter och tretton cm långt, och nej det är inte löshår eller något sånt. Men sen igår har jag ställt mig själv fråga: Ska jag klippa av det eller ska jag låta det växa. Det är ett jobbigt beslut eftersom jag har sparat de i tretton år. Det är rätt lång tid och så tänker jag ''tänk om det aldrig växer ut och blir så lång igen?'' Men på något sätt finns det något inom mig som säger ''om du klipper det kort, så slipper du att göra en frisyr varje dag, att försöka torka de i ca. 4 timmar..'' men jag vet inte. och jag hatar att inte veta, de ger mig beslutångest. ;-;

 

 

 

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Av Gandalf ♥ - 9 juni 2015 08:18

Good morning people. Wake up at 6:30 because that is the time I should go up when I'm going to school. But today I just felt: no, I do not want to. So I persuade the mother to be vacant, mwhihi .. So I slept until half past 8. So now I have a little more energy. I have eaten breakfast, so now I do not know what to do. May think. BaiiBaii      



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♥ Gandalf


Jag är nutish, och kanske gandalf don't ask.. ok. Jag gillar redigering, spel, rita/skissa, havet och min säng. Den här bloggen är helt fucking random, serri.. japp, vad som helst kan hända, som att du ser mig i din säng. ;-;

SKRIV! B) ♫

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Vad skulle du vilja äta av de här? - Jag skulle tagit toapapper
 En utomjordning owo
 En unicorn c:
 Ett kycklingben c:
 Lera c:
 Toapapper *-*
 Din egna arm c:

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